Essay 09— Spend the Time

A lot of questions get asked during the intake process. There are different sets for different rooms. But specifically when designing a bathroom, one of the questions we ask is how long do you spend in the shower?

Some people are fast, others are slow. We all use our showers a little differently. Some people have very long beautification routines while others are very utilitarian and treat it as a place to get in, get out, and move on with the rest of their day.

Most people might say they spend 10-15 minutes. We also often get the 20-30 minute shower clients. Personally, I’m more on the utilitarian side, so it always tickles me when I see the longer times. More power to them. 

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the clients who answer with a longer time are also the same clients who are asking for steam showers. 

At first glance, spending 30 minutes in a shower sounds luxurious. No doubt, a steam shower is itself luxurious. But I’m convinced as a society, we’ve actually misunderstood what luxury is.

People typically think that it is things like expensive stone, rare woods, imported materials. All of those things absolutely have a place in luxury, but I’d argue that they aren’t what make it luxurious. 

Real luxury is what those materials make possible. 

What’s unfortunate is that for most people, the bathroom is nothing more than a checklist.

Obligatory. 

Too often, a bathroom is simply a place we move through, and not a place we inhabit.

What I love about steam showers is that they fundamentally change the way the room is used. No longer is the bathroom a transitory place. No longer is it a place you come through to check boxes off your list of necessary human activities".

The steam shower invites you to linger, sit, and slow down.

Way down. 

You see, it’s not really about the length of time at all. It’s about being given permission to spend the time on yourself. In this case, the permission comes in the physical form of a steam shower.

Without guilt. 

Without needing to justify it. 

Without checking the time every two minutes. 

Without feeling like you should already be moving onto the next thing. 

As you read this, you might be thinking, “But Alex, I don’t have a spare 30 minutes in my day.”

That’s rarely true.

Most people surrender that much time (often multiple times a day) to things which leave you feeling emptier after having done them than you did before starting. Not because we’re weak, but because those environments are designed to hijack our time. 

And they’re really good at it.

So when people say that they don’t have 30 minutes to spend in the shower, my natural response is,

“Of course, you feel that way. That’s simply because you don’t have a steam shower yet.” 

One hijacks your attention while the other gives it back.

We spend so much of our lives in environments designed to keep us engaged, almost against our will. Whereas the steam shower asks nothing of you.

It simply gives you precious uninterrupted time with yourself.

That’s not to say people don’t take their phones into steam showers from time to time. I can absolutely see a case where somebody might put their phone in one of those waterproof pouches so they can scroll while they’re in there. But I’ll tell you right now that they’re doing themselves a huge disservice.

Something that may seem counterintuitive is that when I’m designing a steam shower for someone, comfort isn’t actually the point of it.

The value of a steam shower does not lie in the fact that it’s a comfortable place to be. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. A steam shower is, by design, a little uncomfortable.

There’s the heat,

the moisture in the air,

the stillness,

the solitude. 

In a world that’s constantly edging towards a twisted distracted comfort, some deliberate discomfort does a lot more good than you might initially think. 

When you’re in your steam shower, there are no distractions left.

Eventually… You’re just sitting with yourself.

Who just shuddered at the thought?

While there are a lot of things I love about a steam shower, my favorite is that it’s not teaching you how to relax. What a steam shower is actually doing is teaching you how to enjoy your own company again. 

To sit with your own thoughts.

Because how long has it been since you’ve truly sat with your own thoughts without finding that your heart starts rising the moment you start paying attention to what’s actually flowing through your stream of consciousness?

All this aside, it also makes your physical body feel better. Who doesn’t love that?

The time keeps ticking by. And all of a sudden that’s it… You’ve done it. The steam clears, you step out, and nothing about your external life has changed.

All of your emails still exist, dinner still needs making, and tomorrow’s meetings are still tomorrow’s meetings.

But internally, you feel a bit different.

You feel calmer,

more grounded,

and more present.

I believe that’s what luxury has been all along. Not expensive materials, not extravagant amenities (though those sure are nice to have).

A lot of people think that home should be designed for gathering with the entire family.

I don’t disagree, but I also believe that homes should be designed in such a way that they can help you build a practice of returning you

to yourself.